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‘A Good Enough Mother’ by Bev Thomas ⭐⭐⭐⭐

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The most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

Dr Ruth Hartland rises to difficult tasks. She is the director of a highly respected trauma therapy unit. She is confident, capable and excellent at her job. Today she is preoccupied by her son Tom’s disappearance.

So when a new patient arrives at the unit – a young man who looks shockingly like Tom – she is floored.

As a therapist, Ruth knows exactly what she should do in the best interests of her client, but as a mother she makes a very different choice – a decision that will have profound consequences.

Thank you to NetGalley, Faber and Faber and Bev Thomas for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

Ruth Harland is Director of the Trauma Unit which treats patients by encouraging them to talk through their experiences in a safe space in order to begin to heal. It’s a difficult job. To everyone around her Ruth is calm, collected and can deal with anything. But that isn’t the truth. They have no idea about her son Tom’s disappearance eighteen months ago and how preoccupies her thoughts. When Ruth meets new patient Dan Griffin she is struck by his likeness to her son. She knows this will cloud her ability to treat him but all she can see is a chance to save Dan in the way she wasn’t able to save Tom, setting into motion a chain of events with far-reaching consequences.

*Possible trigger warning*

I wanted to read this book as soon as I saw the synopsis but somehow didn’t connect the dots that it would mean so much vivid detail regarding trauma and PTSD. As someone who is struggling with those very issues I found it overwhelming to read at first and very nearly put it aside. But I was enjoying the way it was written, found Ruth interesting and was already invested in knowing what had happened to both Tom and Dan, so I persevered. I’m glad I did as I found that as the story went on it broadened, enabling me to feel more comfortable reading. I wasn’t sure about including this in my review at first but decided that ultimately it might be best so that other readers are aware.

A Good Enough Mother is a cryptic story of love, loss, family and secrets. While I had tremendous sympathy for Ruth in regard to the pain of son’s disappearance, I found she was a protagonist that evoked mixed feelings. Although her job involves telling others they need to work through their trauma by talking about it and facing it, she hides Tom’s disappearance from her co-workers, pretending everything is fine while inside she’s broken and desperately trying to piece herself together. After meeting Dan she compounds the secrets and lies by ignoring not just her instincts, but the boundaries, rules and warning signs of treating him herself. This plunges her and many others headlong into a danger far greater and darker than anyone anticipated.

A large part of this story was about motherhood. While Ruth is proud of her work and ability to help people, what she lives for is motherhood. She loves her twins but it is clear from the flashbacks that she has always favoured her son and has used his personal struggles to reason this was necessary. She has a distant and difficult relationship with her alcoholic mother and in trying to avoid those same mistakes she is blind to her own. All these things negatively impact her marriage and her relationship with her daughter who feels she’s been forgotten behind her brother’s needs. When Tom disappeared it shattered Ruth on so many levels and she has tethered herself to him all his life. She doesn’t just fear that something bad may have happened to him, but that he has chosen a life without her, which is almost even worse.

I devoured this book in just over 24 hours. It was steady paced and held my interest without exception. One of the things I enjoyed was how the book was written in a way that makes the reader aware these are past events. There are references to an incident and the police many times but we never really know who or what this entails other than the events Ruth is describing are leading up to whatever occured. I loved trying to use the breadcrumbs to figure out what had happened and what part each character played. I had a few ideas and really thought I’d figured it out but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

As we got closer to the big reveal I could predict the storm but felt powerless to stop it. There was a roaring dread in my ears and my heart seemed to stop as I held my breath. Surely not? Please let me be wrong? I felt like I was feeling Ruth’s pain at that moment, my heart shattering with hers as all was revealed. This was an emotional novel and fantastic debut from the author.

Out today.

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book reviews

March Wrap Up

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I can’t believe we’re a quarter of the way through the year already!

This month I have read 10 books. It is my lowest number since joining bookstagram but the quality is what is actually important and it’s been a month where almost every book I’ve read was amazing.

  1. ‘The Woman Inside’ by E.G Scott ⭐⭐⭐ – This debut thriller about a couple who have it all on the surface but are living a life built on lies and secrets  was sadly a let down for me. I had been highly anticipating this book but found it slow and underwhelming. Even the big twist couldn’t make me interested in how things turned out for the characters in this book.  Published August 8th
  2. ‘Only Daughter’ by Sarah A. Denzil ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – This gripping tale of secrets, lies, betrayal and devastating revenge blew me away. It had me on the edge of my seat and reading well past bedtime as I found it impossible to put this book down. I’ve been a fan of this author’s work since I first discovered her last year, but this is her best book yet and one of the best thrillers I’ve read so far this year.
  3. ‘The Evidence Against You’ by Gillian McAllister ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – This book was a complex, multi layered story about love, grief, family, truth, lies, secrecy, pain and betrayal. It is also a story about living life in a prison, though not necessarily one made of bars with guards at the doors, institutionalisation and what happens to the family of victims of a crime and those who are convicted of a crime. It is intelligently written and thought provoking with flawed characters who are the key to the story being so compelling. It pulls you in so you’re completely immersed in Izzy’s search for the truth and I was so desperate to know what happened that I forced my eyelids open and stayed up until 4 am to finish it.  Published April 18th.
  4. ‘Beautiful Bad’ by Annie Ward ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – This absorbing psychological thriller begins with  a chilling 911 call in which a woman pleads for help to hurry as a child shrieks in the background… In dual timelines we are then told the story of Maddie and her husband Ian’s relationship while she undergoes therapy for anxiety and the clock counts down to The Day Of The Killing.  The eerie ending of this book is one I’m still thinking about.
  5. ‘The Dare’ by Carol Wyer ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5 – The third book in the Detective Natalie Ward series, The Dare is another unputdownable thriller. I devoured this book in one sitting, on the edge of my seat as the detective and her team raced to find the person who was kidnapping and killing teenage girls. It is so well written that there was no clear suspect and I was racing to the end to find out who had been terrorising the town. This is a must read for crime fiction and thriller lovers. Published April 25th.
  6. ‘Finding Dorothy’ by Elizabeth Letts ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – As a life long Oz fanatic I loved this magnificent fictional tale of the story behind the The Wonderful Wizard of Oz  from the perspective of Maud Gage Baum, wife of author Frank L. Baum. In dual timelines we see her meet Judy Garland and watch the iconic movie being made while also learning of her life, how the couple met and the story of how Frank was inspired to write the story that is still beloved by millions.
  7. ‘And They You Were Gone’ by R. J. Jacobs ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – What a breathtaking roller-coaster ride! The author has written a compulsive, thrilling and addictive debut novel that is impossible to put down. It was filled with surprising twists and turns and had me on the edge of my seat until the end.
  8. ‘Things In Jars’ by Jessie Kidd  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Bridie Devine is a detective in Victorian London is charged with finding the kidnapped daughter of a baronet that isn’t supposed to exist. Bridie finds herself drawn deeper into the murky world of curiosities, abnormalities, greed and corruption. This mesmerising novel took me completely by surprise. Ms Kidd is a remarkable writer who has woven an emotive and sorrowful tale alongside one full of mystery, charm and suspense. One of the best books I’ve read this year.  Published April 4th
  9. ‘The Vanishing Season’ by Dot Hutchinson   ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5 – The fourth book in The Collector series did not disappoint. As the Crimes Against Children investigate the disappearance of eight-year-old Brooklyn Mercer they find evidence linking it to a string of missing young girls going back decades, including that of Agent Brandon Eddison’s sister Faith, who went missing 25 years ago. This was a compelling thriller that I didn’t want to put down, but also didn’t want to finish, as I was enjoying it so much. The tension never waned and surged as they learned their case was even more disturbing than they’d originally believed. A great end to a fantastic series. Published May 21st 
  10. ‘Betray Her’ by Caroline England  ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Jo and Kate are two very different women who have been friends ever since their first day at bording school twenty years ago. Told in the present day and flashbacks to the friends’ time at St Lukes and the years since, we learn that all is not quite as it seems. From the start there are hints that their time at the all-girls boarding school was far from happy and that they never discuss it. Gradually, we learn the truth of those tumultuous years, along with other heart stopping revelations that unveil their closely guarded secrets and change their lives forever. From the moment I began reading I was hooked.  The author of this book has found herself a new fan and I would highly recommend this tantalising novel. Published September 24th.

So that is what I read in March. I had hoped to have finished ‘The Stranger Beside Me’, which is the book I’m reading as part of #MurderMonday , but unfortunately that looks like it will be my first book finished in April. Choosing a favourite this months is incredibly hard but I think the title has to go to ‘Finding Dorothy’ because it is not only a fantastic novel, but is about my favourite film.

What did you read in March? Have you read any of these books or are they on your tbr list? Comment below and tell me.

 

*Thank you to NetGalley, Bookoture, Thomas & Mercer, Little, Brown Book Group UK, Crooked Lane Books, Quercus, Canongate Books and the authors for the ARCs.

**All books are available now unless otherwise stated. To read full reviews please see previous posts except for The Evidence Against Me and Finding Dorothy which haven’t yet been published.

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‘Betray Her’ by Caroline England ⭐⭐⭐⭐

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Best Friends forever.

That’s the pact you made.

You’d do anything for her.

And you have.

She’s always had it all.

If you could take it for yourself….would you?

Thank you to NetGalley, Little, Brown Book Group UK and Caroline England for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

From the moment I began reading I was hooked. Betray Her is a story of friendship, love, secrets, lies and betrayal that exudes nail-biting tension and foreboding throughout.

Jo and Kate have been best friends ever since their first day at St Lukes twenty years ago despite their very different backgrounds. Jo has always felt like the working class girl from a Barnsley Estate who didn’t deserve her place amongst the rich girls at boarding school. Two years ago she lost her husband suddenly leaving her mourning not only him but their dream of having a child. Kate was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth and waited on hand and foot. She has lived a charmed life. She is enjoys a blissful marriage with her rich and successful husband, has a beautiful little girl, and is the epitome of the perfect wife and mother.

Told in the present day with flashbacks to the friends’ time at St Lukes and the years since, we learn that all is not quite as it seems. From the start there are hints that their time at the all-girls boarding school was far from happy and that they never discuss it. Gradually, we learn the truth of those tumultuous years, along with other heart stopping revelations that unveil their closely guarded secrets and change their lives forever.

This was the first book I’d read by Caroline England and she has found herself a new fan. I was on the edge of my seat from the first page right up until the breathtaking finale. The story was fantastically written in such an authentic voice that I vacillated between who I rooted for and who I deemed the villain many times, and was never quite sure what would happen next. The detailed descriptions had me feeling like I was right there alongside the narrator feeling and seeing everything she did. A tantalising book that I would highly recommend.

Out September 24th

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‘The Vanishing Season’ by Dot Hutchinson ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

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‘The Vanishing Season’ by Dot Hutchinson  ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

A recent abduction becomes an unexpected link to a decades-long spree of unspeakable crimes.

Eight year old Brooklyn Mercer has gone missing. And as accustomed as FBI agents Eliza Sterling and Brandon Eddison are to such harrowing cases, this one has struck a nerve. It marks the anniversary of the disappearance of Eddison’s own little sister. Disturbing, too, is the girl’s resemblance to Eliza–so uncanny they could be mother and daughter.

With Eddison’s unsettled past rising again with rage and pain, Eliza is determined to solve this case at any cost. But the closer she looks, the more reluctant she is to divulge to her increasingly shaken partner what she finds. Brooklyn isn’t the only girl of her exact description to go missing. She’s just the latest in a frightening pattern going back decades in cities throughout the entire country.

In a race against time, Eliza’s determined to bring Brooklyn home and somehow find the link to the cold case that has haunted Eddison–and the entire Crimes Against Children team–since its inception.

Thank you to NetGalley, Thomas & Mercer and Dot Hutchinson for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

When I saw that this book was available to read now on NetGalley I was so excited. I have loved Dot Hutchinson’s the Collector series ever since reading The Butterfly Collector and have been eagerly awaiting the fourth installment since last summer.

When the team get the call that eight year old Brooklyn Mercer disappeared on her way home from school they immediately know this will be one that affects them even more than usual. Brooklyn has disappeared the week before the twenty fifth anniversary of the disappearance of Faith Eddison, the younger sister of Agent Bran Eddison. Like Brooklyn Faith was eight years old when she disappeared on her way home from school and the girls look so alike they could be twins.

The team receive information from a retired detective possibly linking Brooklyn’s disappearance not only to that of Faith Eddison, but a number of young girls of the same description that have gone missing in various cities over a number of decades. With Bran increasingly struggling to hold it together Eliza is heightened in her resoluteness to not only find Brooklyn before it’s too late, but to solve this case and bring his little sister home at last.

The Collector series focuses on the Crimes Against Children division of the FBI and it’s team of agents. Each book has focused on a different team member using their histories, strengths and weaknesses in relation to the case they are trying to solve and having that particular agent as the narrator. For me this makes each book seem distinct, and almost like a stand-alone, while also having the familiarity of a series. Being so distinct you could read any book in this series as a stand-alone.The author provides the information a new reader needs to understand the dynamics of different relationships and certain events, or that will refresh the memory of someone who has read the previous books. That being said I always think you enjoy any book in a series even more if you’ve read the previous books.

This time it was the turn of Eliza Sterling to tell the story. Eliza transferred to the team four years earlier after working with them from a local field office when they investigated another case. She is known to get so focused on cases that she forgets to eat or drink unless instructed and will even be so engrossed in her work that she stays at her desk long into the night and sometimes even until the next morning. Each team member has a different strength based on what they’ve gone through in their lives and Eliza’s is that she is the person who is best at dealing with the families of the perpetrator and reminding them this isn’t their fault and they weren’t to have known what their loved one was hiding from them.

After waiting so long for this book the only disappointment was that it is the last in the series. This was a compelling thriller that I didn’t want to put down but also didn’t want to finish as I was enjoying it so much. The tension never waned and surged as they learned their case was even more disturbing than they’d originally believed. Finally learning more about both Faith and her disappearance after knowing so little in the previous books was something that was heartbreaking but great as a reader. Bran’s refusal to even discuss Faith has shown how deeply he’s affected by not knowing what happened to her and I had always hoped we’d someday find out more and that he and his family would get the answers they’ve spent so long searching for. I enjoyed the dynamic between Eliza and Bran as they switched between colleagues and lovers, and was rooting for not only the case to be solved, but them to survive such a traumatic and testing experience. I also liked that yet again I could find no obvious suspect for the crimes and that I was grasping for clues along with the agents.

The Vanishing Season is an absorbing thriller that I would recommend to anyone who enjoys thrillers and crime fiction. While I’m sad there won’t be any more stories from the Crimes Against Children division, and would like to use this opportunity to implore the author to change her mind and continue the series, I am excited to see what Ms. Hutchinson writes next.

Out May 21st

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‘And Then You Were Gone’ by R. J. Jacobs ⭐⭐⭐⭐

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How can you save someone else if you can’t save yourself?

After years of learning to manage her bipolar disorder, Emily Firestone finally has it under control.  Even better, her life is coming together: she’s got a great job, her own place, and a boyfriend, Paolo, who adores her. So when Paolo suggests a weekend sailing trip, Emily agrees – wine, water, and the man she loves. What could be better? But when Emily wakes the morning after they set sail, the boat is still adrift…and Paolo is gone.

A strong swimmer, there’s no way Paolo drowned, but Emily is at a loss for any other explanation. Where else could he have gone? And why? As the hours and days pass by, each moment marking Paolo’s disappearance, Emily’s hard-won stability begins to slip.

But when Emily uncovers evidence suggesting Paolo was murdered, the investigation throws her mania into overdrive, even as she becomes a person of interest in her own personal tragedy. To clear her name, Emily must find the truth – but can she hold on to her own sanity in the process?

Thank you to NetGalley, Crooked Lane Books and R. J. Jacobs for the chance to read this novel in exchange for an honest review.

Emily Firestone finally has her life together. After years battling to find an even keel she has her bipolar disorder under control and is happy: she is working as a psychologist with children, her own apartment, and is madly in love with her boyfriend, Paolo.

When Paolo suggests a weekend sailing Emily ignores her fears of water and agrees to the trip. After a perfect first night she wakes to find him gone. She alerts the police but is certain that as a strong swimmer he couldn’t have drowned and that he didn’t just up and leave her. When the Police declare Emily the only suspect in his death she knows finding the truth is the only way to clear her name, a task that seems impossible as her life falls apart piece by piece.

But then one of Paolo’s coworkers contacts her saying she has evidence that Paolo was murdered by someone close to him. Increasingly desperate to clear her name, Emily tries to find further proof but finds her mania intruding her thoughts more and more as she races against the clock to not only uncover what really happened to Paolo but to also keep her grip on reality.

This book was a breathtaking roller-coaster ride. R. J. Jacobs has written a compulsive, thrilling and unpredictable debut novel that I couldn’t put down.

Emily was an unreliable protagonist but also one I loved. Seeing her battle against her paranoia was riveting. She herself couldn’t trust the truth and accuracy of her recollection of events or what she was thinking which added an extra layer of uncertainty to whether or not you could believe her version of events, while also making her a character that is interesting to read. The author’s background as a psychologist shines through in these intricate details of Emily’s character and her bipolar II. The expressive language used to describe her thoughts and feelings enabled me to understand her and put myself in her shoes even though I have never lived with her condition. I also found the tidbits of information about how and why the brain works the way it does really interesting and it helped me understand mental health in a new way.

And Then You Were Gone is a fabulous psychological thriller that keeps you guessing as you are never quite sure what to believe. Filled with with surprising twists, turns and revelations this is a book that has you on the edge of your seat until the end. R. J. Jacobs is a talented new voice in fiction and I’m excited to see what he writes next.

Out now.

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‘Things In Jars’ by Jess Kidd ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

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London, 1863. Bridie Devine, the finest female detective of her age, is taking on her toughest case yet. Reeling from her last job and with her reputation in tatters, a remarkable puzzle has come her way. Christabel Berwick has been kidnapped. But Christabel is no ordinary child. She is not supposed to exist.

As Bridie fights to recover the stolen child she enters a world of fanatical anatomists, crooked surgeons and mercenary showmen. Anomalies are in fashion, curiosities are the thing, and fortunes are won and lost in the name of entertainment. The public love a spectacle and Christabel may well prove the most remarkable spectacle London has ever seen.

Things In Jars is an enchanting Victorian detective novel that explores what it is to be human in inhumane times.

Thank you to NetGalley, Canongate Books and Jess Kidd for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

This mesmerising novel took me completely by surprise. Ms Kidd is a remarkable writer who has woven an emotive and sorrowful tale alongside one full of mystery, charm and suspense.

It begins with a mysterious and chilling prologue that details Christabel Berwick’s abduction. A child who is beautiful yet repulsive. and who evokes strange feelings and fear in those who come into contact with her. All her short life she has been hidden away and constrained, seeing the stars for the first time as she’s taken from her Father’s house that night.

Bridie Devine, a renowned female detective in an era where it was still seen as a job for men. She is asked to take on an urgent case: the kidnapping of Sir Edmund Athelstan Berwick’s six-year-old daughter Christabel who was taken the night before. The baronet is thought to be childless and his representative reveals that Christabel was secretly kept in a wing in the house because of her “uniqueness”. Her nurse, who is one of only four people that know the child exists, is also missing. Did she have something to do with the kidnapping or is she another innocent victim in danger?

In an era where curiosities and abnormalities are collected there’s a high price to be found for a unique child and Bridie’s investigation draws her deeper into the murky world of curiosities, abnormalities, greed and corruption. But will she be able to find Christabel before she’s lost to the highest bidder?

Bridie Devine was a fantastic character and protagonist. She is a woman who refuses to conform to the rules and restrictions of the Victorian era and has carved out an independent life for herself doing something she seems to have been born to do. I loved her witt and no nonsense attitude, her love for those deemed unlovable and her determination to help those in need. Her conversations with the ghost of a dead boxer, Ruby, who claims to have known her when he was alive, gave the book some of it’s funniest and most emotional moments. This was a book filled with an array of colourful and interesting characters, along with some evil and despicable ones too. Christabel was a complex and cryptic character: an amalgamation of the beauty and sorrow of the mermaid yet also a terrifying and malevolent creature, and a mix of many opposing traits all inside one little girl. She was brilliantly written and genuinely scared me many times.

I’ve read some great book so far this year but this was by far one of the best. I loved that the language was raw and witty yet poetic and beguiling and the way folklore is combined with crime in a way you don’t hesitate to believe. This was my first book by this author but she’s become an instant favourite. I will definitely be reading what she writes next. Things In Jars is a magnificent, captivating and unforgettable novel that touches your soul. I can’t recommend it enough.

Out April 4th.

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Book Review – ‘In Bloom’ by C J Skuse ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

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Thank you to NetGalley, HQ Stories and CJ Skuse for the chance to read an arc of this novel.

Rhiannon’s back and killing for two…

“If only they knew the real truth. It should be my face on those front pages. My headlines. I did those things, not him. I just want to stand on that doorstep and scream: IT WAS ME. ME. ME. ME!

After her carefully plotted plan to frame her cheating fiance Craig for the murders she has committed was successful, pregnant Rhiannon Lewis is now finding she’s not as happy as she thought she’d be. While Craig languishes in jail for her crimes, she’s living with his parents on the coast and dealing with early pregnancy, journalists vying for her story and that urge to kill haunting her every thought. Then there’s the unexpected complication of the little voice inside her telling her to stop fulfilling her murderess urges or else!  She is frustrated, bored and miserable. Without killing who is she? What is there to make her happy in life? Can Rhiannon give up the thrill of violence and be happy as your run of the mill suburban mum? Can she evade suspicion for her crimes and stop her life crumbling around her as the pressure mounts? Will she ever bond with her baby and is he or she even safe with her as their mother

In Bloom, the fantastic sequel to the book that everyone’s talking about, jumps straight in where Sweetpea left off.  I’d been slightly apprehensive before reading and wondered could it really live up to such a spectacular debut? I needn’t have worried. While there isn’t the shock factor of not having read anything like it this time around, there is again instant tension and dark humour as Rhiannon tries to avoid being caught red handed as the police look for clues against her fiance. I loved being back with this character and even though it was a few short weeks since I read book one I found I’d missed reading her unique, caustic, crude and  witty prose

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about these books is the cultural references that are thrown in at random and regular moments such as “….it’s back like Backstreet”. For me they add to the relatability of the character and make many moments even more hilarious. Putting Rhiannon in the extremely uncomfortable situations of living with Craig’s parents, being pregnant and trying to curb her thirst to kill made it an interesting read that was totally different to Sweetpea, where she’d been in the comfort of her own home, in a job she could do with her eyes closed and in control of who and when she killed. Seeing her become increasingly desperate and overwhelmed as she grappled with where she is now in life, particularly her struggle to bond with her baby and fears about motherhood, humanised her even more. We may not all be serial killers but any mother can recognise that urge to protect your child and worry that you won’t be good enough.  The moments of true emotional anguish and turmoil were another unexpected dimension to her character and a flair of brilliance from the author

This book surpassed expectations. It was hilarious, bloody, heartfelt, scathing, emotional and intoxicating. Rhiannon is the best character I’ve read in years. She’s someone you should really loathe and despise, but instead you find yourself drawn to her and rooting for her. She is the friend with the sharp, quick wit that you’d love to have, bar the murderous tendencies of course. The ending was even more electrifying than in the first book. Now I just have to face the long, arduous wait for book 3 to see what Rhiannon does next….

Out now.